al-Mansur, "EVOL. As always.", 2023.
Being back there did not feel like a memory.
I liked that.
It only feels like a memory when I want to hold myself back.
When I want to restrain myself. That masochistic type shit.
I misremember instead.
Misremembering is survival, yet misremembering is life.
To misremember is to not hang onto the literal scorn from the past.
I discard that hatred. I create a new memory that is rid of that restriction.
I am that motorcycle. And that motorcycle is a personification of myself.
That vehicle that can halt momentarily to observe and express my gratitude.
But I am that motorcycle.
That vehicle can pick up and continue, whatever direction that may be.
We all cycle around, whether or not we call it moving forth.
Cruising by this structure does not make me think of the foundation I once built on unstable ground from past "memory."
I drift on by and remember that it gave me a chance to build a foundation.
One that I continue to stand high and build upon.
EVOL. As always.
Maybe I should not have let you come inside.
My body has now signed a seven-year contract with yours.
​
The operative action is the root of that very word: "con."
Con ... to work with, thoroughly, to cum ... all of which you did.
But now you have left me with what you gave me, a memory.
Memory in my mind // Memory in my body.
And you have walked away with my "con" ... the one thoroughly cut from within me.
I paint a perfect picture in my mind of us through that memory.
Maybe it will come to life // Maybe it will stay at its conception.
I've got to use my imagination now...
al-Mansur, "Con-memory", 2023.
The Spirit called on me…
Spirit told me to come forth to you.
Spirit showed me that you are my protector.
Spirit showed me that I am you and you are me.
A reflection of the many versions of myself.
A reflection that is my freedom.
Turn my back to anything that is not that mirror...
Which is to turn my back to nothing.
al-Mansur, "One of Many Mirrors", 2023.
There is a melee that lives in my mind.
I don't know what is my want
and what is my need ...
al-Mansur, "Melee", 2023.
al-Mansur, "Submit (...& Confess)", 2023.
You and I meet in the middle, whether we are aware or not.
​
A dominant man you are. You wouldn’t have it any other way.
​
A submissive little girl I am. Tonight.
​
We confess what is so valuable inside and what cannot be revealed on the outer shell.
​
I, and we, confess as a submission to a love we cannot outwardly express, as it is a love we fear—a fear we cannot reveal in this irreverent world.
It is truly a fear of the static ways that is unconditional love. A love that is out of our control.
And it is for this union we confess to each other and explore this fear, and both of us, the dominant and submissive, the controller and the controlled, submit to feeling.
I submit to confess. We confess to release.